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This is the time I kissed someone who was PTFO

Ok so if you just read the title of this blog and are 110% confused as to what PTFO stands for, I'm going to go ahead and issue a warning.

CAUTION: You may not be able to relate to this post. You may be too old (I'm in college, y'all) or too young (plz check back in a few years!!!). In either case, proceed with caution; you may learn a thing or two, but you may think I'm a crazy person.

So the night began like any other night one chooses to go out. The getting ready process, the trying to coordinate a meet up time and spot with your gal pals and then FINALLY hours later, the actually going out.

This instance happened my sophomore year of college, so no one in our group could *technically* drink. Luckily, at a big state university like the one I attend though, 100% of fraternities DGAF how old you are. Heck if you look like you still might be in high school there's still a good chance they'd invite you inside to party with them.

My friends and I decided to "frop" for the night. AKA get a drink at a fraternity, down it, then on to the next. This tactic is used for when no one in your group is really interested in mingling with fraternity men for the night, just appreciating their free alcohol.

Well at literally the FIRST house my squad went to, two of us (me and let's call her Carmen) were ready to frop and stick to the plan. HOWEVER two other girls Kimmy and Reece found men at our first stop and bailed. They wanted to stay there all night in hopes of locking down the guys they were flirting with.

Carmen and I are troopers though so we decided to leave Kimmy and Reece there on their mission while we stuck to the original plan (and stuck together! Always use the buddy system when going out, ladies). We ended up at the next house, let's call it the D house (for more than one reason *air horn noise*) and we didn't know it at the time but it would 110% be our last stop.

Carmen and I walked inside and down to their basement where all the parties were held. Music blaring, no lights, and it smelled only slightly better than a boy's gym locker room, but we somehow navigated to the drinks. They were serving jungle juice, so she and I each got one.

Fast forward ten minutes. Carmen and I both have empty solo cups and are lit. She grabs a boy (and she never grabs a boy! She's so shy!) and I kind of just stood there third wheeling for a while. They were making out. I didn't want to leave my friend alone with him but I didn't want to stand there and keep watching them like some hotter, younger version of a Peeping Tom.

I texted her from three feet away.

"HEy Im going ustairs textt me if u ready to leave or get done w boy"


I really did wander upstairs though. I knew the bedrooms were there and where there were bed there were places to sit. I walked into the one a lllllllll the way down the hall. It looked like it had 6-7 people hanging out in it and it had lights on AND there was a couch. What more could a drunk college girl at a frat need?

I walked in and sat down. BUT moments later someone was trying to pull me up. I was so irritated. But then I saw him. He was definitely half asian, but full on what I want to look at in a man. He wanted to flirt and drunk me was ready to be flattered. Let's call him Stephen.

We really hit it off for a bit talking about non-important topics and laughing too much since neither of us were sober.

The conversation came to a close though when two of my classmates from high school walked in and dominated the conversation. For the second time that night, I was left standing awkwardly at a party not knowing what to do with myself. I went back over to the couch that had earlier enticed me in to the room and sat back down.

The guy I was flirting with? His best friend wandered in moments later, flopped down next to me and went to sleep. Like immediately. It was kind of scary, kind of impressive.

Stephen got rid of the girls he was now talking to. He urgently came up to me and started flipping shit. I was like "oh how cute he's concerned about his unconscious friend," BUT NO. He was concerned with embarrassing his friend that was PTFO.

That's where I come back in. He wanted me to take my shirt off, put my bra ON this guy and kiss his cheek while Stephen took a picture. His friend was apparently very shy and conservative, and his frat brothers wanted to scare him and convince him he had banged a rando while he was blacked out (#brotherhood, am I right?).

So I did it. I kissed a random guy who was totally asleep. I saw him recently too, I don't think he knew who I was but he stared at me seemingly trying to remember where he knew me from *he he*.

The night ended ok for those of you who are concerned about my safety. After an hour plus of me upstairs in this random bedroom I wandered back to the basement because I hadn't gotten any texts from Carmen and I was ready to go. She was still in the same place, still making out with the same guy. Impressive. I dragged her out of her because I was tired AF, but I was kind enough to let her get his number first.


  1. Google told me PTFO stands for "Parents Teachers and Friends Organization" but I'm guessing that's not what you were talking about...


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